I'm gonna guess that she's happily startled because, for example, mine hit his weed pen outside every 15 minutes and fell asleep on the couch and never once came near me. I think that my experience (or smth similar) is pretty common.
Edit: Hi, I'm an actually human person and was the first to comment on this. I'm not trying to start a damn war of the roses, and apparently this is NOT the correct answer (see the next comment below mine). Just popped in with my stupid, obviously incorrect thought about what this could mean. So chill with calling me a stupid whore.
Nah it's not. I can see how someone would want to normalise such a shitty event to deal with it but the fathers I know and myself have been much much more involved and supportive than our fathers were
No it's not! If it is a controlled study with specific percentages, it is very much statistical evidence.
*Edit:
I thought of the wrong L and D (learning and development).
A nurse's testimony is definitely still anecdotal if it is not a part of a rigorous scientific process.
Damn i misinterpreted the term L&D as learning and development, because I was in a field where that is what it means. You're absolutely right, Labour and Delivery nurses individual yestimonies would be anecdotal, it is very cut and dry.
To be fair, there probably is some level of advanced training around things like that available to nurses in the field that might make them more likely to have that knowledge.
Also, her repeated observation is technically anecdotal, but still holds more weight than someone who only has one related experience. For this reason I don't think the term anecdotal is very useful here. Its kind of used as this "gotcha, your information is invalid" moment. The thing is that some people's anecdotes have more value on a topic than others.
A delivery nurse is going to deliver a lot of babies. Their experience might not be as thorough as scientific research.
But the volume of raw is going to be higher than some studies. Studies about this topic aren't considered anecdotal, even if their sample size is actually lower than someone's anecdotal experience.
I saw one study that had a sample size of 500 families, less than many l and d nurses deliver in a year.
this blog article talks a bit about the disconnect between practitioner knowledge and published research. Oftentimes practitioners notice trends and phenomenon before researchers have even caught a whiff.
Sure, but it’s a lot different when people who work in that field are telling you these things vs an individual saying “well I was a good husband and so were my friends”.
It’s the same way statistically men are a lot more likely to leave their partner when dealing with major medical issues, like cancer. You could still say “well I would never leave mine*, but that doesn’t mean that doesn’t happen to so many other people
You being a good husband doesn’t discredit all of the women who have dealt with shitty partners during childbirth
The issue is, the nurses will remember the outliers or the extremes. There could be 100 good dads and 10 horrible ones and they'd only recall the horrible ones.
They are the ones who will have seen the most deliveries, who the hell do you think would be more appropriate to have a good impression of the trends of that particular situation? You?
If I asked you to write down every meal you've eaten this year, how many will you accurately recall? Despite you being the only person present for every single one? You'll likely only remember "standouts"; the very best and very worst as well as generic, basic, or often repeated recipes - but you mostly won't even remember those individually, only be aware of having eaten them regularly.
In order to have data about your meals you'd have to write down the same set of information every time you dine.
You realize nurses have training and read literature in their specialties (and do research themselves)? “L&D nurses will tell you” doesn’t just mean based on personal experiences (though that is undoubtedly part of it).
A lot of the nurses I’m friends with on Facebook did their own research and kept posting about how Covid was fake and masks were genocide… not sure if I trust their research skills.
What do you think youre proving by posting this? 86% attending the birth of their infant seems very very high, you'd probably see less consistent attendance for almost any event where they're not legally required to be there, and maybe even some where they are lol.
Then the second part, them feeling unwelcome or "in the way" is pretty understandable. Husbands can only do so much, it's the wife giving birth that is the main event, and shes the only one that can push that baby out. If the husband has done everything he can, assuming he's not medically trained to actually deliver the baby, then how could he not feel "in the way" when his wife is going through that? That of course doesn't justify leaving, but I can understand not wanting to be in the way of the trained professionals who are trying to get your beloved partner through such a traumatic event.
I mean all three of these seem like they're asking men about their feeling, emotions, thoughts, and expectations during birth. The image you posted says we feel unwelcome. Not that they are neglecting partners
Conclusion This study provides qualitative evidence that birth marked the beginning of fatherhood for these men. A father’s presence is now an indelible part of childbirth, and midwives can use their presence to help them to empower their partners to give birth in the best way they can.
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u/BeatnikBun Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
I'm gonna guess that she's happily startled because, for example, mine hit his weed pen outside every 15 minutes and fell asleep on the couch and never once came near me. I think that my experience (or smth similar) is pretty common.
Edit: Hi, I'm an actually human person and was the first to comment on this. I'm not trying to start a damn war of the roses, and apparently this is NOT the correct answer (see the next comment below mine). Just popped in with my stupid, obviously incorrect thought about what this could mean. So chill with calling me a stupid whore.