I was assuming something in that regard.
The woman is in an extreme amount of pain and her hormones are going wild. Having a man, who often can't even deal with a normal flue, say "It's ok, you can do this" can trigger a lot of aggression coming out.
(Especially because we sometimes lash out at people we consider safe in high stress situations)
How is trying to encourage your wife wrong? And why are you assuming her husband can't handle a normal flue? Also, how does this have anything to do with giving birth? I feel like you're making a lot of assumptions here.
There's nothing wrong with trying to encourage your partner while they need you. If anything, it should be normal and encouraged in my opinion.
I don't believe that they are trying to say that encouraging your wife is wrong. The other commenter's remark was because even asking that shows that the original point was likely missed. It's a very high stress, pain and hormone situation. It's a hard place to be in. Believing that encouraging your partner and understanding that it might cause anger in extreme situations aren't mutually exclusive.
Even though encouragement is healthy the brain might have resentment during because its easy to say that when not experiencing. Another thought is it could be seen as dismissive, even if someone knows they'll be fine doesnt mean they aren't going through hell at the moment. Id assume most of the time the wife doesn't hold anger over encouraging things that were said.
With that being said the whole men not being able to handle being sick is a mix of a joke and a myth. When people say that its used in memes like "when a man has his arm cut off at work 😎👍; when a man has the cold ☠️☠️". It likely stems from expectations for men in society to push through things. So when they can't just push through a flu it looks like it effects them worse by comparison.
With all this being said, the connection between the idea of men not handling being sick and the wife is comparison. Imagine your foot is broken and shattered, then someone who you only know to have stubbed their toe (and complains heavily about it) said to you that it will be fine and your foot will heal. The comparison isnt great but could you see how that might seem rude? It's like they are making your situation seem easy when they can't even handle a stubbed toe.
Tl;Dr They aren't saying encouragement is wrong. They are saying that the in pained/hormonal/stressed brain anything that can be said can cause bad reactions in the moment. The men not handling being sick is a known myth/joke that can feel real. The reason this has to deal with giving birth is the comparison between the man-cold myth and the extreme process of childbirth.
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u/Shinjischneider Apr 24 '26
I was assuming something in that regard. The woman is in an extreme amount of pain and her hormones are going wild. Having a man, who often can't even deal with a normal flue, say "It's ok, you can do this" can trigger a lot of aggression coming out. (Especially because we sometimes lash out at people we consider safe in high stress situations)