In the original audio of the video the pregnant woman slaps the husband after he says this. It's a joke about how during labor there's alot of high emotions and stress that the mother to be is experiencing and how such a situation can be awkward for the nurses in the room to be involved in.
I was assuming something in that regard.
The woman is in an extreme amount of pain and her hormones are going wild. Having a man, who often can't even deal with a normal flue, say "It's ok, you can do this" can trigger a lot of aggression coming out.
(Especially because we sometimes lash out at people we consider safe in high stress situations)
How is trying to encourage your wife wrong? And why are you assuming her husband can't handle a normal flue? Also, how does this have anything to do with giving birth? I feel like you're making a lot of assumptions here.
There's nothing wrong with trying to encourage your partner while they need you. If anything, it should be normal and encouraged in my opinion.
I don't believe that they are trying to say that encouraging your wife is wrong. The other commenter's remark was because even asking that shows that the original point was likely missed. It's a very high stress, pain and hormone situation. It's a hard place to be in. Believing that encouraging your partner and understanding that it might cause anger in extreme situations aren't mutually exclusive.
Even though encouragement is healthy the brain might have resentment during because its easy to say that when not experiencing. Another thought is it could be seen as dismissive, even if someone knows they'll be fine doesnt mean they aren't going through hell at the moment. Id assume most of the time the wife doesn't hold anger over encouraging things that were said.
With that being said the whole men not being able to handle being sick is a mix of a joke and a myth. When people say that its used in memes like "when a man has his arm cut off at work 😎👍; when a man has the cold ☠️☠️". It likely stems from expectations for men in society to push through things. So when they can't just push through a flu it looks like it effects them worse by comparison.
With all this being said, the connection between the idea of men not handling being sick and the wife is comparison. Imagine your foot is broken and shattered, then someone who you only know to have stubbed their toe (and complains heavily about it) said to you that it will be fine and your foot will heal. The comparison isnt great but could you see how that might seem rude? It's like they are making your situation seem easy when they can't even handle a stubbed toe.
Tl;Dr They aren't saying encouragement is wrong. They are saying that the in pained/hormonal/stressed brain anything that can be said can cause bad reactions in the moment. The men not handling being sick is a known myth/joke that can feel real. The reason this has to deal with giving birth is the comparison between the man-cold myth and the extreme process of childbirth.
It's not wrong, and this shouldn't be taken as it being wrong to do so. Just a fair warning that childbirth is hard and sometimes people might lash out in the moment because of the stress and pain. (This doesn't excuse hitting someone, that's so fucked up.)
Like, my husband noticed I was hyperventilating and started coaching me through breathing exercises we learned beforehand, and I screamed at him to get out of my face. He was too close and I couldn't breathe, and I was just trying to communicate what I needed as fast and with as few words as possible. I didn't mean to scream at him, and apologized repeatedly after the baby was there, and he assured me that he wasn't upset at all. That's just how childbirth can be.
The flu comment is just weird sexism, but that comment can seem patronizing when most men have not experienced something comparible to childbirth.
Encouraging your wife isn’t wrong. My husband rubbed my back and said something similar to this post. I was close to the end and trying to get enough fluids in for an epidural before she came. Was 8cm (out of 10) when we got there.
My response? I growled at him like a rabid wolf.
He sat down on the couch and didn’t touch me again. And in that action he was being supportive of what I needed in that moment. Not all women want words of affirmation but no one knows that before being in that much pain.
Having a man, who often can't even deal with a normal flue, say "It's ok, you can do this" can trigger a lot of aggression coming out.
How are you people like this??
I feel bad saying something mean to fictional characters in video games, but people like you negatively generalise 4 billion people without blinking an eye
Let's not excuse assault just because someone is going through a lot of pain and hormones. To me, this would be an enormous red flag. Probably not the first time she's abused her husband. It's quite fucked up
From experience I can tell you that there's a HUGE difference between an abusive relationship and someone once verbally lashing out because they're not themselves due to stress, hormones, pain, medication etc.
You are responding to someone talking about a man getting abused. If you respond by talking about how a little verbal abuse is understandable and normal, that's the definition of minimizing.
If a woman told me her husband struck her and I said "well, you know, sometimes emotions are heightened, people say bad things when they get upset," then you could see how that would be minimizing.
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u/darubus Apr 24 '26
In the original audio of the video the pregnant woman slaps the husband after he says this. It's a joke about how during labor there's alot of high emotions and stress that the mother to be is experiencing and how such a situation can be awkward for the nurses in the room to be involved in.