as someone who's sister just delivered a baby, I can tell you that the nurses and doctors there said that most men sit in the corner (if they even come at all) and act annoyed. most of the time, they don't seem interested in becoming a father. it's very sad to see.
And nurses at hospitals all over the place are all saying the same thing. But half the guys in here keep insisting that it's anecdotal and the other half say it's not true because they're one of the good ones. Either way, they're disregarding what women are saying.
According to people in here, it’s not just women saying it but professionals in general. Ask yourself why you felt the need to bring gender/sex into it.
It's just hard to fathom if I remember my son's birth. It's a bit of haze, but sitting in the corner being annoyed wasn't part of it. Sorry, apparently fathers in this thread should disregard their own lived experience.
I get that it happens and bad fathers exist, but I really do wonder where this hospital is, where it's most fathers who are like that. That's shocking.
Is it that hard to believe women when we say how awful many men are? If anything I think you’d be proud that you’re better than them rather than throwing your lot in with useless men.
That cuts both ways, though. People are believing all the commenters who are saying they're great dads, but when a woman says her husband was useless during labour, everyone's ready to either stick up for a guy they never met or comment that he probably doesn't exist.
Is it that hard to believe women when we say how awful many men are?
In this case, yes.
If anything I think you’d be proud that you’re better than them
I'm not proud for making some incredibly low bar... I'm surprised at nurses saying that most men are not (emotionally) present for their child's birth, and skeptical whether that's actually true. My sister-in-law worked for an organisation for midwifery, I'll ask her instead of some stranger in the internet. Bye
a doula is not, in any way, a 'substitute' for dad. nor are they even pretending to be. a doula has (or should have, its not super regulated) a very specific set of skills that are to help support the pregnant mother in loads of ways.
we used a doula for both my wife's pregnancies. and i was standing right by her side every step of the way. doula's exist because they have seen a hundred births. they know what to expect even if you and mom dont. they know what might help, even if you and mom both took classes - you're in the trenches now and you forgot. they help you advocate for the birthing experience you want, and hospital staff tend to listen to them better because, again, they've seen 100 births.
That cuts both ways. Just because you know someone that knows someone, doesn’t mean most dads aren’t there and excited. The internet loves to play pretend with their misandry and misogyny peddlers showing up to these threads.
To say "most" dads are there and excited would be like me saying "most" dads are telling their wives it's not that painful and offering zero support. Neither of us have research to back up what "most" do, so to pretend otherwise would be straight-up lying. THAT is playing pretend.
There's a large number of fathers who care and a large number of fathers who deserve divorce papers
I simply believe that it holds more weight if it's coming from a nurse, doctor, midwife, or other medical professional working OBGYN and maternity rather than someone who does not
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u/Dr-Assbeard Apr 24 '26
Chris here, the joke is sexism, she doesn't expect a man to be present and supportive durig childbirth