Lois here, it's one of the phrases that enrage the woman. What do you know, Peter? Do we really got this? Would you be 'getting it' if your inside felt like being torn apart by an infant the size of Meg?
This screenshot is taken from a video where the audio is of a slap, insinuating the woman giving birth slapped her husband for saying this. So, may be a negative take but it is the context of the video 😭
Well, I partly agree, as a person, but tbh a laboring person is in the most nervous state in their life probably, a whole lot of pain also. Things said during labor do not really count
For real. When our son was born, my wife chose to work her way up the pain management drugs (hydrotherapy -> nitrous -> IV drugs -> epidural) instead of jumping straight to epidural -- it was something she wanted to avoid. Unfortunately, the labor was long and not-so-great. When she made the call for the epidural, it took them a few minutes to get everything ready and actually in, all while she was sitting up in a less-than-comfortable position. As they were wrapping up the epidural, I said something along the lines of, "They're almost done, you're doing great, just another moment. You've got this."
Her response?
"I'm going to punch you in your fucking face!"
Both very out of character for her, and very surprising, lol. Turns out, hours of being in immense pain fucks with you, and having a bunch of people tell you you're doing great makes some things start to feel... scripted, or robotic? And she took offense to that. Looking back, a pretty funny moment admittedly.
Yeah but it's true. He's trying his best to be supportive and help, but when you are at a 10 on the pain scale and scared and overwhelmed, someone saying "you got this" is probably infuriating. Neither of them is wrong, it's just a crazy situation and in high stress situations when tension is high, saying something like that usually elicits this kind of response
I don't know why you're getting such defensive answers from the commenters, THIS IS IT. Even the most well-intended encouragement can hit a nerve when it's coming from a person who doesn't know the pain you're in, and tells you to relax.
That's not at all what that's meant to convey in this context. It's meant as everything will be okay, you're doing great, that type of stuff - encouragement and support.
Ah I get you, fair enough. I've been married for 16 years and I know there are certain times when I keep my mouth shut because any word I utter will be taken in the absolute worst possible way it can be taken. One learns to navigate situations accordingly. And I've been on the other side of that as well, not proud of that.
According to your stupid take, men are damned if they are present and supportive as they done know the pain, and damned if they are not present/supportive.
If this take were to be the right one then every single delivery class globally is wrong.
Her take is that sometimes, when a person is in a lot of pain, they aren't responding rationally to well meaning encouragement. Childbirth is incredibly painful, emotional, and for a lot of people traumatic - no one is at their best, ESPECIALLY not the woman giving birth. its not about men being damned if they do damned if they don't - its that that amount of pain is so difficult to cope with that people act irrationally, and sometimes that looks like being frustrated with the affirmations of a person who doesn't understand the pain. Thats not a moral indictment of the man, just an observation about the human response to pain.
I imagine the first few times someone says "you got this" it's fine, but after a couple hours of pushing and many repetitions of that, it'd probably get pretty annoying even if you know he's just trying to be supportive.
I tried to be mindful of what my wife wanted to hear and what would comfort/encourage her the most, but I'm sure I got on her nerves more than once. It's exhausting and you never know much more pushing you have ahead of you.
In the original audio of the video the pregnant woman slaps the husband after he says this. It's a joke about how during labor there's alot of high emotions and stress that the mother to be is experiencing and how such a situation can be awkward for the nurses in the room to be involved in.
This is why I plan on just holding my wife's hand and saying "YOU ARE IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN" and reaffirming to her for the whole 20+ hours how dangerous and painful I've read pregnancy is.
Finally. So many stupid men who think "you got this!" is some kind of supportive phrase for this event. Even my spouse wouldn't have been so ignorant.
Can't say the same for my nursing a newborn with a 102°F temp in the living room while he's gaming in the room next to me. Bring me water? Rub my shoulders? Nah; "you got this! pew pew!" some damn foreshadowing right there now
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u/New_Musician8473 Apr 24 '26
Lois here, it's one of the phrases that enrage the woman. What do you know, Peter? Do we really got this? Would you be 'getting it' if your inside felt like being torn apart by an infant the size of Meg?