r/interestingasfuck • u/SnackSamurai • 2d ago

Women stand still to escape from a bear

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u/Poonchild 2d ago

Black bear: scream and shout
Brown bear: play dead
Polar bear: you’re already dead

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u/Marble_Turret 2d ago

I heard it as

Black fight back

Brown lay down

White goodnight

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u/sock_full_of_mustard 2d ago

As for the white:

Should you find yourself in the town of Churchill Manitoba, Polarbears cross through its neighborhoods along their migratory path twice each year. It’s not uncommon at any time of year to run into one when out for a stroll or running errands.

Because of this, the community here has an unwritten rule whereby nobody locks any vehicle at any time, even if unattended overnight.

So when in Churchill Manitoba or surrounding area, should you encounter a White Bear, find the closest vehicle and shelter inside of it.

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u/ChairRip7 2d ago

I also believe there are no roads out of Churchill so if someone stole a car they have nowhere to go

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u/peeinian 2d ago

Correct. Only way in or out is by train, plane or boat.

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u/latexfistmassacre 2d ago

Or bear gut

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u/Omega_art 2d ago

Thats the fastest way.

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u/Brerbtz 2d ago

It is a shitty route, though.

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u/frogstar 2d ago

Nature's way

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u/trololololol 2d ago

At least you won't have to go through security at the airport

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u/TheNovemberMike 2d ago

Fuck sakes 😂

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u/ZoziiiCoziii 2d ago

Kinda hot ngl

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u/JustPussyPics 2d ago

Thank you

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u/ipickscabs 2d ago

Or by taming a polar bear and riding it to freedom

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u/incutt 2d ago

or cutting it open on Hoth

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u/LivingDisastrous3603 1d ago

Do you know the internal temperature of a tauntaun?

Luke warm

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u/exexor 2d ago

The airport is bigger than the town. Why even have cars?

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u/Celebrimbor96 2d ago

Thanks for my interesting fact of the day. I had to go to Google Maps to verify but you’re right. Every road I found that looks like it goes out of town ends up at some location nearby and no further

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u/BoldAndBrash1310 2d ago

Funny, I spent part of my summers on an island and nobody locked their cars for the same reason. My friend's cars would always randomly go missing because their parent/sibling/friend would find them out and about town and use them (this was before cellphones). 99% of the time the car was parked outside the bar 😂

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u/Opposite-Cranberry76 2d ago

Well if there was a road, it would only lead to Winnipeg, which is hardly an escape.

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/10/750000-people-trapped-living-in-winnipeg/

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u/redopz 2d ago

Holy cow, I thought that was real before I noticed the site. Could you imagine 750,000 people choosing to live in Winnipeg? 

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u/Western_Name2388 2d ago

Yep. There are Youtube videos on this. The good news is.. most of us will never find ourselves in Churchill Manitoba.

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u/StanknBeans 2d ago

And if you do, you've got bigger problems than polar bears. Like how the hell did you get there and what's your escape plan?

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u/Convallaria4 1d ago

Fr. Sounds like the perfect place to keep a cult.

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u/DocBEsq 2d ago

My great-grandmother had.a visit on her bucket list back in the day. (She had lived in Manitoba for most of her adult life)

She made it and was apparently thrilled to visit the polar bear town.

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u/gorilla_faafafini 2d ago

That's crazy cus if I had to shelter from a polar bear in a random car I'd definitely lock it.

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u/lcmc 2d ago

I doubt a bear has the dexterity to open a car door via handle, but I’m sure you can lock a car door after escaping into the car. The rules there so people can duck into a car in case of a bear sighting. 

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u/Psychological-Big334 2d ago

A quote from a park ranger regarding the latching or unlatching of garbage bins:

"There is a significant overlap in intelligence between the dumbest human and the smartest bear".

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u/Capital_Pea 2d ago

100% they do, google that one there are videos

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u/Key_Sign_5572 2d ago

lol dude they’re called bear cans for a reason.

Had to make a locking garbage can with a handle that is literally too small for a bear to use.

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u/TCRandom 2d ago

I have one of those, and a couple of big local black bears still try to break into it. Two weeks ago, a 500lb bear dragged it into the woods while trying to tear into it at 4am. I could hear it from the opposite side of the house.

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u/Swarna_Keanu 2d ago

They absolutely do. Whether with paw or teeth.

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u/Kibeth_8 2d ago

Polars probably don't cause their paws are massive, but black bears can open car doors

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u/DeletedMainforJob 2d ago

I am 99.99999% never gonna use this info but you can be sure this gets a permanent spot in my memory.

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u/DogsDucks 2d ago

There was a video on Reddit of a guy here, one of the places of polar bear wanderers through .

So the bear moseys around the corner and he SPRINTS onto a snowmobile as the bear breaks into a canter and he hop on and narrowly zips away.

I was thinking how lucky he was to happen to have his snowmobile right there and ready to go.

But the comments said it’s because they all leave them like that. It was so scary. I can’t imagine that level of fear.

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u/Fun-Palpitation8771 2d ago

The trouble is a lot of cars lock themselves these days.

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u/I_am_The_Teapot 2d ago

That's typically something you can disable yourself. Can find how in the user manual.

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u/latexfistmassacre 2d ago

Also pray they don't decide to rip the doors off to get to the gooey center

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u/Wonderful-Status-247 2d ago

Oh man I'm in black bear country. I initially read that as: leave your door open so they don't rip it open.

They don't actually open car doors mostly, .. But my neighbor left their door wide open, a bear got in, the door closed on it, and then it ripped the car to shreds until it broke itself out

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u/WCPass 2d ago

I've heard this and don't doubt it, but like, if a polar bear is determined I don't think a car door is stopping it

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u/TK_Games 1d ago

Huh, this is actually really cool to know, thank you

It's also cool to know that my sudden urge to be a huge turtle when I see a polar bear is the correct survival instinct for encountering a polar bear

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u/sock_full_of_mustard 1d ago

You’re welcome 🙂

Fun fact about turtles:

They can stored oxygen reserves in their butts and use it to “breath” or supply their blood with oxygen if trapped under sand or remaining under water for too long.

In simpler terms, turtles can breathe through their butts when they need to!

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u/Exciting_Classic277 2d ago

And hope it doesn't climb on top because those things weigh more than your mom.

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u/sock_full_of_mustard 2d ago edited 2d ago

Speaking of women and climbing on top of things:

There’s a little town just inside the border of Saskatoon, called Snütts. Here, there is apparently a common local tradition for single women to hike to the summit of nearby Mt. Duhee and stay the night before hiking back down. The journey is fabled to bring them luck and prosperity in their love life.

As the story goes, of the 3 families of Dutch settlers who founded the town and raised their family’s there, none bore sons. Seeing as the town was so isolated, their daughters could not carry on the family lineage as there were no suitors nearby to bed them.

As the seasons passed, Urma, the youngest of all the women in the town became desperate as she watched her sisters and friends grow old, and their window of opportunity to wed and start families pass. Determined to change her fate, Urma decided to hike to the summit of Mt. Duhee in an attempt to get a better view of the towns surroundings. Maybe she would be able to see a distant town that would have potential suitors for her and her sisters.

Unfortunately she would never return. A week later her father and uncle went to search for her and stumbled on a group of young explorers near the base of the mountain who had discovered her body.

They came back to the village to shelter from the cold, and eventually a few of the men wed some of the daughters and the town expanded.

And that, my friend, is the story of Urma, and Duhee Snütts. Yer Ma, and Deez Nuts

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u/Exciting_Classic277 2d ago

I knew you were taking the piss but I still had to read the whole thing, damn you.

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u/Yvaelle 2d ago

Its a lot better than nothing but polar bears are big enough to punch through the roll bars of a vehicle, or lift & roll the vehcle over, so not only is the glass and aluminum meaningless, but if its really after you - best bet might be to try to get in, climb through, and run out the other side if your brave enough.

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u/ItsGonnaBeOkayish 2d ago

Do the people also leave the keys? Maybe you're supposed to drive away?

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u/KnownAsAnother 2d ago

If it's white, uhhh, find a car that rhymes with white.

Or maybe take flight into the nearest car?

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u/Friend_Of_Mr_Cairo 2d ago

I haven't been to Churchill, but halfway up in MB to Thompson. -40 ambient. Snow squeaks under your feet. Also be careful not to step on clear/translucent schnapps bottles in parking lots. An environment that I will never forget, I'm happy that I had the opportunity tho.

Please subscribe for other stories. 😉

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u/Donny_Dont_18 2d ago

My guess is a lot of people in rural areas have unlocked cars regardless

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u/therealmrsfahrenheit 2d ago

And they always have their doors to their houses unlocked as well I believe

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u/Sarenesh 2d ago

Gummy get in my tummy

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u/heliocycle 2d ago

Just to let you know…I read this comment and moved on, not really understanding what it was referring to. Then my brain caught up that it was adding to the list above and it made me laugh. I don’t have that reaction much on Reddit anymore, so thank you for the chuckle.

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u/Axle-f 2d ago

Teddy rdy for beddy

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u/kronicpimpin 2d ago

Gummy then yummy. Never heard the tummy version!

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u/CanAhJustSay 2d ago

This made me smile!

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u/SunOutside746 2d ago

This is how I’ve heard it too. But I have trouble remembering it. I’ll be killed by the bear before I can recall how it goes. 

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u/LLAPSpork 2d ago

I find that it’s easier to remember this way:

If it’s black, fight back.

If it’s brown, lie down.

If it’s white, say good night.

Adding the “if” puts my mind into major thinking mode, especially if I know that it’s supposed to rhyme.

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u/chef_kt2e 2d ago

I thought this was a haiku bot at first glance. Lol

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u/Hertzcanblowme 2d ago

And if it’s yellow, let it mellow

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u/AwareYogurtcloset920 1d ago

Quite accurate of the ppl world too

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u/Poonchild 2d ago

Much better!

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u/Academic_Broccoli670 2d ago

That's pretty racist

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u/Business-Parsley5197 2d ago

That bear looked pretty black to me

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u/Wingnutmcmoo 2d ago

You don't need to fight a black bear... If it turns into a fight then you're gonna lose. They are like us and eat basically everything so they also dislike unneeded fights.

You just wanna seem like you're trouble.

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u/bartlebyrds 2d ago

Wow, this is so helpful. I will actually remember this. Thanks, _turret

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u/Underdog424 2d ago edited 2d ago

Terrible advice. You don't fight back unless it's fighting you. Black bears don't ever attack you like a brown bear does. They only attack in defense. Make sure not to trigger that defense. Trigger their flight, not their fight.

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u/zamiboy 2d ago

This is only advice for the scenario when a bear is actively charging at you and attacking you aggressively. In this scenario in the video, this bear is being curious and getting close to these folk - not attacking at least from what it looks like at the start of the video. I would be shouting at this bear like I'd be shouting at a badly behaving aggressive dog in a park. Yell and be big and that bear will scurry right off these particular black bears out in Appalachia are very scrawny and don't want to do anything with humans.

Also, yes, if you are being actively mauled or attacked by a black bear punch it, kick it, be aggressive and aggro with them and they tend to let you go and scurry off.

Grizzly bears are a different story. For them, you want to not surprise them to begin with. If you are hiking in a group or solo talk loudly around bends of trails. Be careful when hiking in the wind because your scent doesn't go to the bear and it can surprise him or her. Most grizzly attacks happen when the bear is surprised and a hiker is solo and not grouped up. If you are being mauled by a grizzly, protect your torso towards the ground and play dead for 15-30 seconds. If the grizzly keeps mauling you for more than that, then you FIGHT BACK. Don't just get mauled to death; do something about it.

I should also clarify that there are black bears that are crimson-colored (brown) and those act just like the other types of black bears. Yell at them, shout at them, be aggro with them.

Polar bears are something most of us don't need to worry about, but for them usually local ordinances and rules probably are more important to know than any online piece of advice.

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u/kit_kaboodles 2d ago

Polar bears are a nightmare to deal with, but they are quite scent focused, so stripping clothes off as you run towards shelter can sometimes slow them down.

Hopefully that way the hypothermia means you pass out before the bear reaches you.

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u/samsg1 2d ago

That’s easy to remember, thank you!

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u/ralph99_3690 2d ago

I heard similarly “Black, Attack. Brown, Ground!”

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u/bwhaturlike 2d ago

Koala get chlamydia

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u/Motor_Patience5186 2d ago

I mean, in all fairness, "fight back" is easy to say. It's another story when you're facing a guy like this, bigger than you and covered in spiky claws.

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u/KongUnleashed 1d ago

Don’t forget the Panda bear: if it’s black and white, you’re gonna be alright
https://giphy.com/gifs/V0dSvr3Ukvxgk

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u/CorpseeaterVZ 1d ago

If it is white, go into the light.

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u/prozack75 1d ago

And if they’re red ….we’re already dead!

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u/Ceofy 2d ago

PSA: All three bears can be all three different colors. Know what bears are likely to be in your area

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u/Bwint 2d ago

Found this out when I told my friend I saw a brown bear on my way to work. He was extremely skeptical, and I couldn't understand why - bears are common in our area.

Turns out "brown bear" is another name for "grizzly bear," and black bears can be brown.

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u/lioncat55 2d ago

You're saying a black bear can be white?

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u/mtn_viewer 2d ago

Yes. The Kermode (Spirit) bear of BC Canada is a White furred Black Bear

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u/HuckleberryOdd7745 2d ago

Its like these guys didnt even watch The Green Planet bluray documentary

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u/NonGNonM 2d ago

also brown bears can appear black.

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u/Emperor-Nerd 1d ago

A polar bear could be black and brown?

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u/Ceofy 1d ago

I think the tongue in cheek answer is that it could be dirty. 

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u/bombasterrific 1d ago

Polar bears are black under their fur. Their skin is actually black

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u/Emperor-Nerd 1d ago

I know the skin is black but I was thinking more about the fur color

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u/Glitch29 2d ago

Hopefully if you're encountering a polar bear you're also either near a snowmobile or a fortified shelter. Running to safety is an option.

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u/3BlindMice1 2d ago

Running from a polar bear is only recommended because they're more likely to kill you instantly that way instead of eating you alive like they would if you'd played dead

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u/spacebarcafelatte 2d ago

Why did I read this

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u/ChippedHamSammich 2d ago

99.999999% sure we will never be in this situation but… global warming and all…

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u/pinklavalamp 2d ago

I’m an Xennial - we grew up afraid of the Bermuda Triangle and quicksand.

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u/Glitch29 2d ago

Born in '86, I think I just caught the tail end of quicksand in popular culture. There were some tales of it in elementary school, and the Parker Brothers' Quicksand game (1989) was still on the shelves through the early nineties.

But the last and only movie I remembered featuring quicksand was The Princess Bride (1987).

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u/GodlessScallywag 2d ago

Ah yes, the lightening sand. I'd rather take my chances with the R.O.U.S.'s.

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u/Maremdeo 1d ago

Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.

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u/ZELLKRATOR 2d ago edited 2d ago

"Ey yo polar bear... How you you like them SUVs? Who's dying now, cunt? You should have gone for a license yourself, idiot."

That's tha way to do it...!

"Ey hooman... How you like them floodings? Who's dying now, cunt? Better swim like the polar bears, idiot."

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u/gremlinfrommars 2d ago

Well. That's fun

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u/ResolveLeather 2d ago

It's recommend because if you are in a place that you encounter them, shelter or vehicle is near by. Snowmobile/boar is faster then a polar bear and artic explorers are big enough to not care.

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u/Unclecactus666 2d ago

So if I encounter a polar bear I should find a boar to ride to safety on?

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u/kellzone 2d ago

And if you do have to run, zig-zag. Don't run in a straight line like that idiot Rickon Stark.

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u/HuckleberryOdd7745 2d ago

but what the likely hood of playing dead actually working and them ignoring you?

or was the laying down advice not actually advice?

instead of perfecting my brief knowledge on the heimlich maneuver and cpr im learning about fighting polar bears.... just in case i guess.

honestly i cant remember how to tell if a drop is about to attack. i think last time i looked it up it was if theyre showing their teeth and growling. and something about the tail either being up or down being good or bad.

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u/3BlindMice1 2d ago

Polar Bears need all the calories they can get. They'd still eat your corpse if it had been rotting for a week. They wouldn't mind in the slightest that you were playing dead. Don't bother learning how to fight a polar bear, instead, look up how big they are. It's a mass of muscle, teeth, and claws the size of a tank that's perpetually starving.

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u/idontlikegudeg 1d ago

You know the story of the two guys running into a bear and one of them instantly fixes his shoe laces. The other one says "why are you doing that? You won’t outrun him anyway?" "I know. But I hope i can outrun you."

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u/Ryguy_Games 2d ago

obviously dont test this hypothesis but i heard that a good strategy from running from a polar bear is throwing objects to the side as apparently they have short attention spans

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u/lordkoba 2d ago

I’d be dropping turds. would that work?

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u/UmatterWHENiMATTER 2d ago

Worth a shit...errr... shot.

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u/Informationlporpoise 2d ago

only if you toss them to the side

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u/Marble_Turret 2d ago

Unless you're throwing seals

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u/Ornery-Customer8521 2d ago

Just cant be the slowest

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u/Professional-Day7850 2d ago

It works great. That's why I never travel alone into polar bear regions.

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u/NoAssumption3912 2d ago

Or have a delicious Coke to offer

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u/Top-Strawberry4466 2d ago

I think they like Pepsi now

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u/Samaraxmorgan26 2d ago

They've always loved icees

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u/PlayfulSurprise5237 2d ago

Pepsi, in this economy? Broke ass bears be drinking Sams Cola

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u/Almostasleeprightnow 2d ago

the best thing i've seen today

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u/Maiyku 2d ago

They can still run like 25mph though, so you gotta get on that snowmobile and get the fuck going.

Granted that only takes a few seconds on most snowmobiles, but it only takes a few seconds for a bear to chomp down on you so… you’re still testing the limits in a lot of ways.

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u/Antoak 2d ago

Remember, you don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the person beside you.

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u/Barf_The_Mawg 2d ago

Only if you have a friend slower than you.

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u/topTopqualitea 2d ago

No. You have to die

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u/zamiboy 2d ago

Or you are surrounded by an electric fence for your campsite.

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u/whistlerite 2d ago

Hopefully you have a gun, or you fucked up.

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u/Antilles1138 2d ago

Or hope you have an elephant gun loaded and ready.

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u/kurburux 2d ago

Fun fact: migratory polar bears have made it to Iceland. They're usually killed by hunters though because they're very dangerous and it's not really possible to return them.

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u/SlutPuppyNumber9 2d ago

Scream and shout would be before the bear is literally face-to-face with you—at that range any sudden movement/noise would likely have triggered a negative reaction from the bear.

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u/whistlerite 2d ago

Yes exactly, do not let a bear get this close to you. Ever.

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u/mothgirl7 1d ago

That’s what I was thinking- if the bear is this close to you already I think ur best bet is to freeze

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u/concreteboner 2d ago

Japanese polar bear: Omae wa mou shindeiru

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u/HankyPanky80 2d ago

Different populations of bears have different behaviors. Black bears in Japan act very different from black bears in US and Canada.

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u/TheBigHornedGoat 2d ago

The saying refers to American black bears, not Asian black bears; they are two distinct species.

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u/fckspzfr 2d ago

so Asian black bears are generally more agressive / not intimidated as quickly?

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u/TheBigHornedGoat 2d ago

Not sure, I don’t don’t really know anything about that species. I was just pointing out that the saying is specifically referring to the American black bear species, not all bears that happen to be black.

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u/HankyPanky80 2d ago

I don't know for sure. But if you look up how many attacks occur in Japan you can come to that conclusion pretty easy.

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u/doing180onthedvp 2d ago

How so? That's interesting

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u/Thunderstarer 2d ago

Well they're two different species of bear. They're just incidentally both black.

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u/jankenpoo 2d ago

They bow before they kill you lol

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u/Poonchild 2d ago

I have literally no idea what I’m talking about, clearly. I just plagiarised (poorly) a funny commmet I saw a while back

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u/YouMUSTvote 1d ago

Starting with: They speak another language 🥸

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u/CandyPale4464 1d ago

Do Asian black bears bow to their sensei?

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u/usrname88 2d ago

You don't play dear with brown bears unless you know for sure it's cub defending or protecting a carcass. If it's predatory you absolutely should fight back. Same with polar bears, people have survived attacks before.

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u/Evening-Gur5087 2d ago

I wonder how many people got maimed or killed by this wrong bs, as it's very popular as it's so easy to remember

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u/ernie451 2d ago

Thing is, a black bear isn't always black:

"The name "black bear" is misleading, however. This species can range from black to gray to cinammon to white depending on the location and the individual. To ensure proper identification of an American black bear, do not depend on the bear's coloration. Instead, look for a combination of the following features.

 

  • Shoulder lies level or flat with back/lacks shoulder hump.
  • Rump is higher than front shoulders.
  • Face profile is straight from between the eyes to tip of muzzle.
  • Ears are taller and more oval shaped and can appear to be very prominent on the head.
  • Front claws are less than 2 inches long and curved.
  • Toes are separated and fairly arced. A line drawn under the big toe across the top of the pad runs through the top half of the little toe on black bear tracks. Claw marks do not always show in the tracks.
  • Black bears are smaller than brown bears, standing 2 - 3.5 feet at the shoulder when on all fours."

https://www.nps.gov/articles/bear-identification.htm

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u/drewjsph02 2d ago

Was with a friend hiking in the UP of Michigan when we walked around the trail to see a black bear. He screamed so loud and panicked and the bear ran away while I doubled over on the ground laughing at him.

Black bears can 100% kill you if they wanted but they are such scaredy cats that they will run away if you are loud.

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u/candlerc 2d ago

Panda bear: …?

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u/Poonchild 2d ago

Rub their belly.

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u/r311im 2d ago

This is a common misconception, you should only play dead against a brown bear if you are actively being mauled and do not have any deterants. It is a last resort, if you lay down before an attack you are basically garenteeing that you WILL be attracted.

Calmy back away, group up if you can, always carry bear spray if you are in brown bear country.

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u/bizignano 2d ago

To be honest, brown bears are very territorial and respond to displays of dominance. If you come across one, have pepper spray at the ready, but do not run or lay down. If anything take a step towards it and hold your ground. Live around black and brown bears

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u/Safe-Progress9126 2d ago

Grolar bear...oh no

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u/Any-Eye6299 2d ago

scream and shout

And let it all out

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u/CyberneticWerewolf 2d ago

I can't recall where I heard this phrase, but it lives rent-free in my head: regarding polar bears, "don't worry; the bear will know what to do".

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u/Westrunner 2d ago

Grizzly?

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u/quim_do_mato 2d ago

Am I supposed to remember that?

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u/Plenty-Combination58 2d ago

So in other words, my initial reaction of yelling to fight that thing off was correct, good to know I wasn’t falsely informed lol

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u/Poonchild 2d ago

For clarity: I have no idea what I’m talking about.

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u/Far_Battle_7658 2d ago

And let it all out

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u/Xsamsquanch 2d ago

Gummy: goes in the tummy

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u/MightyPirat3 2d ago

In Norway we only have brown bears (well, at least on the mainland). We are thought to talk calmly or sing a calm song as you carefully back away while still facing the bear.

Those around here who have encountered bears close to civilisation have said that they know about what to do, but still made a run for it.

If IRRC there haven't been a human killed by a bear in Norway since 1906, when a boy jumped over a large rock and almost landed on the bear, and probably scared the shit out of it.

It's even rare that bear encounters involve an aggressive bear. Think it's about 4 % of recorded interactions.

Bears attacking humans is extremely rare. Think there were one a few years ago involving bear and cubs, so that was probably a sort of self defence. Hunters also meet aggressive bears occasionally, but that is to be expected with dogs chasing and stuff ... (no, we usually don't hunt bears)

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u/NiceGuysFinishLast7 2d ago

Exactly. They played this wrong but luckily escaped unscathed

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u/Shygar 2d ago

But people should know some black bears are brown

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u/Numisko 2d ago

Does this bear counts as a black or brown bear

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u/Realistic_Swan_6801 2d ago

I think this is a sun bear, even smaller and less dangerous than a black bear.

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u/NirgalFromMars 2d ago

How do you distinguish between brown and black bears?

Becausebthat one looks black to me...

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u/isjustafishalright 2d ago

Yeah don’t listen to this, it’s more specific. You play dead for a brown bear that’s just hungry and going to graze you, you’ll get eaten. Same with a polar bear. This poem and its other versions get people killed.

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u/Hot_Share8353 2d ago

Black bear: If one is approaching you, scream and shout, wave arms, make yourself look big. They are generally not aggressive and are often easy to scare off. If a bear is attacking then you attack back, generally to the face. You have no change of really hurting the bear, but they are not looking for a flight.

Brown/Grizzly bear: If you have bear spry, which you should in brown bear country, use it. If not, you play dead.

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u/baevehole 2d ago

Pooh bear: give it hunny

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u/DidSomebodySayCats 2d ago

Except black/brown is a species, and they can be any color. So you need to know the nose and face shape to ID the species, and most people aren't going to remember that.

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u/Psychological-Big334 2d ago

I heard for polar bears if you see one, it has seen you for atleast 2 hours.

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u/Underdog424 2d ago edited 2d ago

Only scream and shout at a black bear if it is further away. If you are that close, it could trigger a defense mechanism in the animal.

In any black bear encounter I've had, I bang pots and pans when they start to approach. They are very curious creatures. But they startle pretty easily.

If it starts to attack you. One or two punches to the nose is usually enough. Always look for cubs. If it's a mother, you should probably get away as fast as possible.

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u/FlippantBuoyancy 2d ago

That's not really the correct advice for brown bears. You want to play dead under the very specific scenario where the bear sees you as a threat and physically attacks you. 

If it hasn't touched you yet or if it is hunting you as prey, you absolutely do not want to play dead.

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u/Superior_Mirage 2d ago

To be clear: play dead is if the bear decides to attack.

Until then, just stay calm and speak soothingly to it so it knows you're there -- you don't want to startle it. Back away slowly and carefully... and ready your bear spray if you had the sense to bring it (have bear spray, seriously).

If it does attack and you don't have bear spray, lay face-down with your hands clasped on the back of your neck (to protect it) and your legs spread wide (to keep it from flipping you over). It'll almost certainly lose interest fairly quickly once it knows you're not a threat.

If a black bear attacks, fight back as hard as you can: eyes, snout, etc. Rocks/sticks are a great idea. They don't weigh much more than you do (if at all), so it's not as bad of a situation as it might seem.

And if you're in an area with polar bears, you should know what you're doing already or the Darwin Award you receive will be well-deserved.

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u/Synchrotr0n 2d ago

Playing dead against a brown bear won't work if it thinks you're food, so in that situation your best bet is still trying to fight back and hope to hit them in the eye or other vulnerable part. For a black bear, anything that is loud or fights back will generally work to scare them away.

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u/Hefty-Minimum-3125 2d ago

*If the brown bear attacks

If you see one and its not currently trying to kill you, back away and try to leave (never turn your back on it).

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u/iPlod 2d ago

FYI I don’t know if screaming/shouting would’ve helped her here. Already too close, screaming might just startle it and cause it to swipe at her

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u/fauxfilosopher 2d ago

Great how everyone in the thread is repeating this terrible advice when playing dead is an absolute last resort when dealing with a brown bear that is attacking you. You want to make yourself large and back away slowly and silently so it doesn't see you as a threat.

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u/VictorySushis 2d ago

Polar bear: omae wa mou shindeiru

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u/DarknessfromLight 1d ago

Playing dead with a Grizzly/Brown bear is risky. If it doesn't go away and continues to attack you on the ground, your only option IS to fight back, for what good hitting a 1,000 pound animal is going to do.

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u/Moperist 1d ago

What about Koalas?

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u/Poonchild 1d ago

Cuddles

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u/TK_Games 1d ago

I didn't even think of polar bears, that's 'stay inside and pray the windows hold' country

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u/anomalyknight 1d ago

There was an article posted to reddit a few months ago about a woman that survived fighting off a polar bear to protect her child. She held it off until someone was able to shoot it, and iirc she miraculously made it out with only scratches and bruises. Fucking incredible.