r/interestingasfuck • u/SnackSamurai • 2d ago

Women stand still to escape from a bear

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u/Marble_Turret 2d ago

I heard it as

Black fight back

Brown lay down

White goodnight

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u/sock_full_of_mustard 2d ago

As for the white:

Should you find yourself in the town of Churchill Manitoba, Polarbears cross through its neighborhoods along their migratory path twice each year. It’s not uncommon at any time of year to run into one when out for a stroll or running errands.

Because of this, the community here has an unwritten rule whereby nobody locks any vehicle at any time, even if unattended overnight.

So when in Churchill Manitoba or surrounding area, should you encounter a White Bear, find the closest vehicle and shelter inside of it.

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u/ChairRip7 2d ago

I also believe there are no roads out of Churchill so if someone stole a car they have nowhere to go

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u/peeinian 2d ago

Correct. Only way in or out is by train, plane or boat.

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u/latexfistmassacre 2d ago

Or bear gut

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u/Omega_art 2d ago

Thats the fastest way.

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u/Brerbtz 2d ago

It is a shitty route, though.

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u/Necromir92 1d ago

There might be some running

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u/frogstar 2d ago

Nature's way

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u/trololololol 2d ago

At least you won't have to go through security at the airport

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u/TheNovemberMike 2d ago

Fuck sakes 😂

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u/ZoziiiCoziii 2d ago

Kinda hot ngl

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u/JustPussyPics 2d ago

Thank you

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u/RandomSquare456 2d ago

You mean "bear belly"?

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u/latexfistmassacre 2d ago

If the bear has indigestion, then sure, I guess

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u/ipickscabs 2d ago

Or by taming a polar bear and riding it to freedom

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u/incutt 2d ago

or cutting it open on Hoth

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u/LivingDisastrous3603 1d ago

Do you know the internal temperature of a tauntaun?

Luke warm

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u/Thunderstarer 2d ago

Yeah but then you lose the car though.

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u/ipickscabs 2d ago

That’s ok it wasn’t my car anyway

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u/exexor 2d ago

The airport is bigger than the town. Why even have cars?

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u/BigThicEnergy 2d ago

How do the cars get in then?

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u/Nonsuperstites 2d ago

By plane, train, or boat.

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u/AdditFox12 2d ago edited 2d ago

Fr!?

Excuse my ignorance but what they're used for then if there are no roads?

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u/WerdaVisla 2d ago

There are roads — just none of them lead out of the area :P

They're just for getting around town.

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u/AdditFox12 2d ago

Damn, I have to check this out

It's an enclosed space then, just looked at the map and I saw lot of holes around

Is it surrounded by glaciers?

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u/8bitterror 2d ago

One of the roads goes to the Polar Bear Holding Facility 🤣 It's literally one of the only points of interest nearby, so if you steal a car for a joyride and go to the one place outside of town, you're likely to get eaten by bears

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u/inssidiouss 2d ago

Then how them cars get thar?

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u/tothehopeless1 2d ago

The polar bears brought them to make things challenging.

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u/Celebrimbor96 2d ago

Thanks for my interesting fact of the day. I had to go to Google Maps to verify but you’re right. Every road I found that looks like it goes out of town ends up at some location nearby and no further

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u/did_i_or_didnt_i 1d ago

yep, the roads only go so far north in Canada. Look up kapuskasing and try to follow the roads north from there. There are people up there, but there’s a lot of fly/boat in communities. Or access by logging roads only. Canada’s population is mostly within range of the US border and it’s the 2nd biggest country

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u/BoldAndBrash1310 2d ago

Funny, I spent part of my summers on an island and nobody locked their cars for the same reason. My friend's cars would always randomly go missing because their parent/sibling/friend would find them out and about town and use them (this was before cellphones). 99% of the time the car was parked outside the bar 😂

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u/Opposite-Cranberry76 2d ago

Well if there was a road, it would only lead to Winnipeg, which is hardly an escape.

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2019/10/750000-people-trapped-living-in-winnipeg/

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u/redopz 2d ago

Holy cow, I thought that was real before I noticed the site. Could you imagine 750,000 people choosing to live in Winnipeg? 

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u/Dear-Salt6103 2d ago

I just checked google maps. There are two roads (launch road and church river rd) going in and out of town.

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u/marcopastor 2d ago

You didn’t trace them very far did you?

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u/Dear-Salt6103 2d ago

No but they went out of the town

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u/Western_Name2388 2d ago

Yep. There are Youtube videos on this. The good news is.. most of us will never find ourselves in Churchill Manitoba.

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u/StanknBeans 2d ago

And if you do, you've got bigger problems than polar bears. Like how the hell did you get there and what's your escape plan?

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u/Convallaria4 1d ago

Fr. Sounds like the perfect place to keep a cult.

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u/SoftVisible3299 1d ago

Speaking of, I looked up if there’s any other towns regularly coming across polar bears:

“Arviat, Nunavut (Canada): Located roughly 150 miles north of Churchill, this Inuit hamlet of about 3,000 people experiences heavy polar bear traffic. Bears often wander dangerously close, sometimes drawn by the town's waste management site, and residents regularly have to hold indoor Halloween events and employ local bear monitors.”

Poorly written, and so I misread as them frequently having these weird cult-like and so called “Halloween Events” seances to shelter from the bears. But then I realized it probably just meant that the middle of Fall is prime bear season, so each year they usually have to celebrate Halloween indoors.

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u/DocBEsq 2d ago

My great-grandmother had.a visit on her bucket list back in the day. (She had lived in Manitoba for most of her adult life)

She made it and was apparently thrilled to visit the polar bear town.

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u/Melodic-Heron-1585 1d ago

Great place to kayak with belugas, too.

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u/exexor 2d ago

Sounds like a bunch of degens from up north.

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u/gorilla_faafafini 2d ago

That's crazy cus if I had to shelter from a polar bear in a random car I'd definitely lock it.

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u/lcmc 2d ago

I doubt a bear has the dexterity to open a car door via handle, but I’m sure you can lock a car door after escaping into the car. The rules there so people can duck into a car in case of a bear sighting. 

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u/Psychological-Big334 2d ago

A quote from a park ranger regarding the latching or unlatching of garbage bins:

"There is a significant overlap in intelligence between the dumbest human and the smartest bear".

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u/Capital_Pea 2d ago

100% they do, google that one there are videos

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u/Key_Sign_5572 2d ago

lol dude they’re called bear cans for a reason.

Had to make a locking garbage can with a handle that is literally too small for a bear to use.

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u/TCRandom 2d ago

I have one of those, and a couple of big local black bears still try to break into it. Two weeks ago, a 500lb bear dragged it into the woods while trying to tear into it at 4am. I could hear it from the opposite side of the house.

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u/Swarna_Keanu 2d ago

They absolutely do. Whether with paw or teeth.

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u/Kibeth_8 2d ago

Polars probably don't cause their paws are massive, but black bears can open car doors

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u/Krystle39 1d ago

They absolutely have the dexterity to open the car door via the handle. It happens around here all the time. When my kid was young he used to like to play with my keys and he left it unlocked one night. I woke up to three out of four doors wide-open with clear evidence a bear had spent some time in there.

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u/DeletedMainforJob 2d ago

I am 99.99999% never gonna use this info but you can be sure this gets a permanent spot in my memory.

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u/DogsDucks 2d ago

There was a video on Reddit of a guy here, one of the places of polar bear wanderers through .

So the bear moseys around the corner and he SPRINTS onto a snowmobile as the bear breaks into a canter and he hop on and narrowly zips away.

I was thinking how lucky he was to happen to have his snowmobile right there and ready to go.

But the comments said it’s because they all leave them like that. It was so scary. I can’t imagine that level of fear.

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u/Fun-Palpitation8771 2d ago

The trouble is a lot of cars lock themselves these days.

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u/I_am_The_Teapot 2d ago

That's typically something you can disable yourself. Can find how in the user manual.

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u/latexfistmassacre 2d ago

Also pray they don't decide to rip the doors off to get to the gooey center

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u/Wonderful-Status-247 2d ago

Oh man I'm in black bear country. I initially read that as: leave your door open so they don't rip it open.

They don't actually open car doors mostly, .. But my neighbor left their door wide open, a bear got in, the door closed on it, and then it ripped the car to shreds until it broke itself out

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u/WCPass 2d ago

I've heard this and don't doubt it, but like, if a polar bear is determined I don't think a car door is stopping it

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u/TK_Games 1d ago

Huh, this is actually really cool to know, thank you

It's also cool to know that my sudden urge to be a huge turtle when I see a polar bear is the correct survival instinct for encountering a polar bear

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u/sock_full_of_mustard 1d ago

You’re welcome 🙂

Fun fact about turtles:

They can stored oxygen reserves in their butts and use it to “breath” or supply their blood with oxygen if trapped under sand or remaining under water for too long.

In simpler terms, turtles can breathe through their butts when they need to!

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u/Exciting_Classic277 2d ago

And hope it doesn't climb on top because those things weigh more than your mom.

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u/sock_full_of_mustard 2d ago edited 2d ago

Speaking of women and climbing on top of things:

There’s a little town just inside the border of Saskatoon, called Snütts. Here, there is apparently a common local tradition for single women to hike to the summit of nearby Mt. Duhee and stay the night before hiking back down. The journey is fabled to bring them luck and prosperity in their love life.

As the story goes, of the 3 families of Dutch settlers who founded the town and raised their family’s there, none bore sons. Seeing as the town was so isolated, their daughters could not carry on the family lineage as there were no suitors nearby to bed them.

As the seasons passed, Urma, the youngest of all the women in the town became desperate as she watched her sisters and friends grow old, and their window of opportunity to wed and start families pass. Determined to change her fate, Urma decided to hike to the summit of Mt. Duhee in an attempt to get a better view of the towns surroundings. Maybe she would be able to see a distant town that would have potential suitors for her and her sisters.

Unfortunately she would never return. A week later her father and uncle went to search for her and stumbled on a group of young explorers near the base of the mountain who had discovered her body.

They came back to the village to shelter from the cold, and eventually a few of the men wed some of the daughters and the town expanded.

And that, my friend, is the story of Urma, and Duhee Snütts. Yer Ma, and Deez Nuts

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u/Exciting_Classic277 2d ago

I knew you were taking the piss but I still had to read the whole thing, damn you.

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u/Yvaelle 2d ago

Its a lot better than nothing but polar bears are big enough to punch through the roll bars of a vehicle, or lift & roll the vehcle over, so not only is the glass and aluminum meaningless, but if its really after you - best bet might be to try to get in, climb through, and run out the other side if your brave enough.

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u/ItsGonnaBeOkayish 2d ago

Do the people also leave the keys? Maybe you're supposed to drive away?

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u/Fresh_Eggs 2d ago

Just have to put your seatbelt on!

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u/KnownAsAnother 2d ago

If it's white, uhhh, find a car that rhymes with white.

Or maybe take flight into the nearest car?

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u/Friend_Of_Mr_Cairo 2d ago

I haven't been to Churchill, but halfway up in MB to Thompson. -40 ambient. Snow squeaks under your feet. Also be careful not to step on clear/translucent schnapps bottles in parking lots. An environment that I will never forget, I'm happy that I had the opportunity tho.

Please subscribe for other stories. 😉

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u/Donny_Dont_18 2d ago

My guess is a lot of people in rural areas have unlocked cars regardless

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u/therealmrsfahrenheit 2d ago

And they always have their doors to their houses unlocked as well I believe

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u/coffeegoblins 2d ago

I’m just going to do my best not to find myself in the town of Churchill Manitoba.

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u/Satoshiboi420 2d ago

Best comment on Reddit I read so far!

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u/Satoshiboi420 2d ago

Like overall

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u/accidentalrorschach 2d ago

Can't they get in? Or that's only if they aren't already honed in on you?

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u/rbartlejr 2d ago

At least you're up to 50/50 odds doing that. Aren't they required to carry rifles as well? Seem to remember seeing that in one Canadian arctic town.

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u/RalphFTW 2d ago

That is so fuckin boss the whole community sticks together.

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u/NoEThanks 1d ago

Curious how that works where I’ve seen video of bears ripping into cars no problem

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u/Krystle39 1d ago

That is interesting, are polar bears not known to get into cars? I ask because I live in Bear country and if you leave your car unlocked they can and will open the door to get in.

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u/HoldinTheBag 1d ago

Just looked up where this town is. How the hell do you crazy Canucks manage to live up there

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u/bloodrose31 1d ago

I believe the advice is a combination of that and polar bears are incredibly curious. So one of the tips is to remove clothing while you are backing up. The bear will hopefully examine or maybe play with the clothes rather then the human.

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u/utan 18h ago

Longyearbyen on Svalbard has a similar unwritten rule with looking your house. It is also a law that anyone leaving town needs to have at least one person in the group with a rifle, which is used to hopefully scare them off, and give you a fighting chance if scaring them doesn't work. The island also has more bears than people (as well as more snowmobiles than people).

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u/Sarenesh 2d ago

Gummy get in my tummy

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u/heliocycle 2d ago

Just to let you know…I read this comment and moved on, not really understanding what it was referring to. Then my brain caught up that it was adding to the list above and it made me laugh. I don’t have that reaction much on Reddit anymore, so thank you for the chuckle.

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u/Axle-f 2d ago

Teddy rdy for beddy

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u/kronicpimpin 2d ago

Gummy then yummy. Never heard the tummy version!

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u/CanAhJustSay 2d ago

This made me smile!

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u/SunOutside746 2d ago

This is how I’ve heard it too. But I have trouble remembering it. I’ll be killed by the bear before I can recall how it goes. 

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u/LLAPSpork 2d ago

I find that it’s easier to remember this way:

If it’s black, fight back.

If it’s brown, lie down.

If it’s white, say good night.

Adding the “if” puts my mind into major thinking mode, especially if I know that it’s supposed to rhyme.

•

u/been_mackin 1h ago

I’ve heard “white, you’ll see the light” too.

If you see a polar bear, that polar bear saw you a while ago and is hunting you 😂

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u/chef_kt2e 2d ago

I thought this was a haiku bot at first glance. Lol

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u/Hertzcanblowme 2d ago

And if it’s yellow, let it mellow

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u/AwareYogurtcloset920 1d ago

Quite accurate of the ppl world too

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u/Poonchild 2d ago

Much better!

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u/Academic_Broccoli670 2d ago

That's pretty racist

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u/Business-Parsley5197 2d ago

That bear looked pretty black to me

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u/Wingnutmcmoo 2d ago

You don't need to fight a black bear... If it turns into a fight then you're gonna lose. They are like us and eat basically everything so they also dislike unneeded fights.

You just wanna seem like you're trouble.

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u/bartlebyrds 2d ago

Wow, this is so helpful. I will actually remember this. Thanks, _turret

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u/Underdog424 2d ago edited 2d ago

Terrible advice. You don't fight back unless it's fighting you. Black bears don't ever attack you like a brown bear does. They only attack in defense. Make sure not to trigger that defense. Trigger their flight, not their fight.

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u/zamiboy 2d ago

This is only advice for the scenario when a bear is actively charging at you and attacking you aggressively. In this scenario in the video, this bear is being curious and getting close to these folk - not attacking at least from what it looks like at the start of the video. I would be shouting at this bear like I'd be shouting at a badly behaving aggressive dog in a park. Yell and be big and that bear will scurry right off these particular black bears out in Appalachia are very scrawny and don't want to do anything with humans.

Also, yes, if you are being actively mauled or attacked by a black bear punch it, kick it, be aggressive and aggro with them and they tend to let you go and scurry off.

Grizzly bears are a different story. For them, you want to not surprise them to begin with. If you are hiking in a group or solo talk loudly around bends of trails. Be careful when hiking in the wind because your scent doesn't go to the bear and it can surprise him or her. Most grizzly attacks happen when the bear is surprised and a hiker is solo and not grouped up. If you are being mauled by a grizzly, protect your torso towards the ground and play dead for 15-30 seconds. If the grizzly keeps mauling you for more than that, then you FIGHT BACK. Don't just get mauled to death; do something about it.

I should also clarify that there are black bears that are crimson-colored (brown) and those act just like the other types of black bears. Yell at them, shout at them, be aggro with them.

Polar bears are something most of us don't need to worry about, but for them usually local ordinances and rules probably are more important to know than any online piece of advice.

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u/kit_kaboodles 2d ago

Polar bears are a nightmare to deal with, but they are quite scent focused, so stripping clothes off as you run towards shelter can sometimes slow them down.

Hopefully that way the hypothermia means you pass out before the bear reaches you.

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u/samsg1 2d ago

That’s easy to remember, thank you!

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u/ralph99_3690 2d ago

I heard similarly “Black, Attack. Brown, Ground!”

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u/bwhaturlike 2d ago

Koala get chlamydia

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u/Motor_Patience5186 2d ago

I mean, in all fairness, "fight back" is easy to say. It's another story when you're facing a guy like this, bigger than you and covered in spiky claws.

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u/Marble_Turret 2d ago

Make yourself big and shout, not choke him out.

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u/KongUnleashed 1d ago

Don’t forget the Panda bear: if it’s black and white, you’re gonna be alright
https://giphy.com/gifs/V0dSvr3Ukvxgk

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u/CorpseeaterVZ 1d ago

If it is white, go into the light.

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u/prozack75 1d ago

And if they’re red ….we’re already dead!

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u/quim_do_mato 2d ago

White and goodnight do not rhyme though