I don't see it very often. Usually people will say "I hate rapists / pedophiles / deadbeats / etc." Those are great things to say, and it seems to get the entire point across without even specifying men. But once in a while, people say "this is why we say ALL men" or "this is why we choose the bear" or "this is why heterosexual women are proof that sexuality isn't a choice" or whatever. Maybe you've heard the "poisoned M&M's" analogy?
Okay the first and last I get, but the bear? Yeah we choose the bear. We don't know if the man is good but the worst a bear does is kill us and we won't get the third degree saying we dressed to lure the bear if the bear attack which statistically is unlikely.
I know it as a room of snakes or a weapon - treat it as loaded until you're sure it's not. I don't see the problem with that
Choosing avoidance might be an effective survival mechanism, but it doesn't mean it's not prejudiced as well. Usually I don't engage with "bear" stuff, since I can see the hyperbolic "spirit" of it, but in reality it's not very well thought out. A bear can definitely do worse things than kill you, and as far as I know, it's more likely to be attacked by a bear (when you're around bears) compared to being attacked by men. But you don't see a problem comparing all men with snakes, guns, and poison? Would there be a problem doing that for any other group? Sounds like verbiage straight from nazi germany.
No it is explaining why women dont trust every man they get close to. From experience- and we ALL have experiences - we keep out wits about us, until we see you wont hurt us. It is not all men but all women have multiple experiences.
If you want us to feel safe, then dont take it so personal. Just show youre not one of the bad men, call out the bad men.
Listen to what we are saying. The experiences we are describing.
Why does it help to make it sex-based though? I've had bad experiences with all kinds of people. It seems safest for everyone to be a bit wary of everyone, without really needing to be specific. No? It's not great for anyone to completely let their guard down around any type of person either.
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u/Ghee_Buttersnaps_ Apr 24 '26
I don't see it very often. Usually people will say "I hate rapists / pedophiles / deadbeats / etc." Those are great things to say, and it seems to get the entire point across without even specifying men. But once in a while, people say "this is why we say ALL men" or "this is why we choose the bear" or "this is why heterosexual women are proof that sexuality isn't a choice" or whatever. Maybe you've heard the "poisoned M&M's" analogy?