The self-formed bubble is such a common perception-distorting issue. It's the same with "Why aren't there any good guys, all the guys I date are assholes." or "Why aren't there any good women? All the women I date just want my money.".
Well, if you keep dating a specific type of person, you will end up dating that specifict type of person.
Used to have a coworker that demanded dating advice from me, because I lucked out and found a great partner.
I don't consider myself an expert when someone just spoke to me on the bus and we hit it off, but I decided to ask my coworker a few questions - turns out she (lesbian) was get REAL tired of the drama... but allll her attempts to find people were at the club.
And I'm just like... I am not a lesbian, I have no idea where you can go looking for women, but maybe stop looking at the club if you're tired of drama. The club is FOR drama, you need to go find a queer cafe or something.
The honest answer about how to find a good partner is that a lot of it is just luck. Like yeah, you can potentially swing your luck by changing your dating strategy(stop picking up people at the club), but that is hardly anywhere close to guarantee that a good partner will surface because you joined your library book club instead of the night club.
Oh yeah - but I do think that if you keep getting a certain result, you should change your method. If EVERYONE you meet at the club has too much drama, stop checking out people at the club. At least take a break on it.
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u/Square-Singer Apr 24 '26
The self-formed bubble is such a common perception-distorting issue. It's the same with "Why aren't there any good guys, all the guys I date are assholes." or "Why aren't there any good women? All the women I date just want my money.".
Well, if you keep dating a specific type of person, you will end up dating that specifict type of person.