Pr9bably the best judges but don't tell my parents that lol. Nurses can project how they want to be treated onto other couples. My mom was very much "get this thing out of me and take the baby" but the nurses boxed my dad out and kept trying to force my mom to take it. They'd tell you my dad was being pushy despite him trying to do exactly what my mom said she needed him to do. Not everyone wants the same kind of support and nurses can be super judgemental.
Based on previous experience my mom wanted my dad to immediately take the baby while she recovered. He was trying to support her by doing so but for whatever reason the nurses didn't let him and kept trying to give the baby to my mom. They basically had to yell at the nurses because they crowded my mom, boxing my dad out. Despite then doing the opposite of what my mom wanted/needed, I'm sure they tell the story of my dad being overbearing instead of realizing he was doing what my mom said she needed.
I can tell you why they were trying to give baby to mom at least. Protocol is baby goes to mom immediately while she recovers, then the baby goes to dad while they check mom. Unless there's a medical emergency that requires immediate care to either mom or baby (like my son's birth where my partner had some blood loss from a torn uterus). They were basically defaulting to their standard pattern and either didnt hear or didnt understand your mom (or were just bad nurses, they do exist).
Don’t think that’s true lol. When I was born I was taken immediately and put into a tube with oxygen so my body could harden and so were my brothers kids. Guess it just depends on the circumstances or location.
First, i'm not a medical professional, just a dad who went through all the birth classes where they taught us all about the golden hour. As for why mom first, it gives mom a lot of endorphins that help keep her awake and energized for the rest of labor (gotta deliver that placenta), the mom will smell and sound more familiar to the baby which helps it feel comfortable and safe and keeps stress off the baby. There's also a few reflexes that are good to see in those first few minutes, like suckling and rooting, that are more often seen when mom takes baby. The medical staff has to weigh out the benefits of helping one patient (the baby) with respecting the other's (mom's) wishes. It's a delicate balance and it sounds like the staff the other commenter dealt with didn't handle it well.
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u/Fear_Jaire Apr 24 '26
Pr9bably the best judges but don't tell my parents that lol. Nurses can project how they want to be treated onto other couples. My mom was very much "get this thing out of me and take the baby" but the nurses boxed my dad out and kept trying to force my mom to take it. They'd tell you my dad was being pushy despite him trying to do exactly what my mom said she needed him to do. Not everyone wants the same kind of support and nurses can be super judgemental.