I (M) remember my overnight stay after delivery, I tried to soothe the baby when it awoke and it wasn’t feeding time, and woke every time the nurses came in i was there to help mom during feedings. We slept in fits, they wake mom every 4 hours to encourage feeding.
I remember the nurse’s told me that most dads don’t help, don’t get involved, and leave everything to the mom.
We were jut recovering from a brutal birth so I was eagerly interested in both baby and mom’s health and recovery but the stories the nurses told me were shocking.
I work in healthcare. It may be cultural but what it really is is confirmation bias/selective memory. Men are expected to suck by a lot of women. Lots of patients come through everyday. Guess who the nurses gossip about. The shit head patients. This sort of thing easily shifts peoples views over time
Definitrly confirmation bias and seismic. When I did a OBGYN surgery rotation, the nurse that oriented us told us to be ready to see all the horrible fathers. The 6 month we were there we saw many amazing father and many "you could do better" father's.
However, we only saw horrible grandmother's (both sides). The only person we had to throw out of the hospital during that time was also a grandmother. She was throwing a fit when birthing mother didn't want her in the room during the birth and only wanted her husband. Grandmother was screaming cursing. Grandfather was trying to calm her down until he gave up out of embarrassment and told the nurse to just call the cops 😅
Lol in my experience it's probably 60/40 man to woman ratio of my horrible experiences with patient (old ladies do meth too and can be so mean lol).
However I totally agree about the patients mostly being neutral to genuinely very pleasant. The vast majority of them and their families are stressed the hell out for one reason or another and they still manage to be thankful and respectful during my interactions. The most common complaint I have about them is they talk endlessly and go on tangents after I ask how many days they have had their symptoms for haha. Definitely not the worst quality in a person by any means.
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u/Ok_Team_ Apr 24 '26
I (M) remember my overnight stay after delivery, I tried to soothe the baby when it awoke and it wasn’t feeding time, and woke every time the nurses came in i was there to help mom during feedings. We slept in fits, they wake mom every 4 hours to encourage feeding.
I remember the nurse’s told me that most dads don’t help, don’t get involved, and leave everything to the mom.
We were jut recovering from a brutal birth so I was eagerly interested in both baby and mom’s health and recovery but the stories the nurses told me were shocking.