Yup, if they married and had a child with a man like this, you can't really expect the people they surround themselves with to be vastly different. So they'd think it's normal to be like this.
The self-formed bubble is such a common perception-distorting issue. It's the same with "Why aren't there any good guys, all the guys I date are assholes." or "Why aren't there any good women? All the women I date just want my money.".
Well, if you keep dating a specific type of person, you will end up dating that specifict type of person.
I thought there was something wrong with me because my former partners sucked, and the rule of thumb is that if there is a common variable, (me) then maybe that is the problem.
Until I met my spouse.
First person I never had to clean up after.
First person I could say "I don't feel well" and they ask what they can do for me instead of saying "Yeah, I feel sick, too. You make dinner, I am going to lay on the couch."
But the general thougjt process is "Oh, every one has problems! Everyone has a rough patch!" And dismisses the bullshit.
It also is what I told my friend when they wanted to settle down - if you keep acting like a party person, you are going to attract party people.
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u/Square-Singer Apr 24 '26
This. Everyone sees themselves as the standard, the "normal". Even if they are far, far away from "normal".