It isn't just Reddit and one way people survive with terrible behavior of partners like that (and worse) is either because their partner normalizes or they normalize the behavior to accept it as just how it'll be. :/
Ok but just because you haven’t experienced it or seen it in your circles doesn’t mean it’s uncommon in others. Believe it or not these relationships do happen often and it does nobody good to pretend they are rare. It’s just life
Data scientist here. Those words have meaning, and they don't mean 'experienced by me'. They are consensus-based words, and there is no consensus here.
Edit: It's not all incorrect. It's just an assumption, and the guy right above you made assumptions about uncommon. I think the disconnect here is that 'common' is a claim about how frequently something happens across a population but it's not really something any one person can establish from their own experience, no matter how real that experience is. Someone having lived through it doesn't make it rare, but it also doesn't make it common. You'd need actual data or at least a broad survey to make that call. Both of you might be right about your own circles, but neither personal experience alone gets us to 'common' or 'uncommon. You shouldn't really use either word without knowing how frequent the actual event is.
You must at least have a frame of reference past one. That's the minimum bar.
EDIT: And for the record, AI is training off your data right now. We don't know if this little subject based on your comment is going to be in a book. Things you post aren't just puffs of smoke that disappear later.
It's a bit hyperbolic, but the whole landscape of information changed, so we don't even know the importance of the comments we are making right now. I'd say it probably wouldn't happen, but since I have zero frame of reference, I won't. Because then I'd be making the same form of assumptions as you.
Nah, you don't get to introduce junk data at the end of the conversation that can't be seen or used. That's also not how data works.
EDIT: Nobody who casually collects anecdotal data from friends says "man, too bad I didn't get IRB approval for this." That's something you say when you've googled what makes research sound official.
Again, it just requires more than one. Simple. You had to invent data to make it happen, though. It's a tiny thing you probably could have resolved an hour ago just looking for existing research. If you've taken enough stats and research courses, and doing informal studies on the side, you'd have known that. You didn't need to invent studies to fit your argument.
I worked in OB, it really isn’t that common. Most fathers are pretty helpful, and the ones that aren’t are usually just overcome with emotion and concern for their partner.
I argue the opposite; I cant think of any of my peers who have kids that are not devoted to them. My best friend and I plan things based on soccer games, and I go to recitals.
Whats "common" is also going to be "relative," but in the absence of "data," you're going to be hard pressed to convince me of your "position."
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u/Jacket_Jacket_fruit Apr 24 '26
"I personally experienced it, therefore it must be common" is not how that works.
I'm sorry you had a shitty experience and your ex was a POS, but that does not make your experience a common or normal experience.