r/interestingasfuck • u/SnackSamurai • 4d ago

Women stand still to escape from a bear

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

30.6k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

4.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

114

u/Glitch29 4d ago

Hopefully if you're encountering a polar bear you're also either near a snowmobile or a fortified shelter. Running to safety is an option.

159

u/3BlindMice1 4d ago

Running from a polar bear is only recommended because they're more likely to kill you instantly that way instead of eating you alive like they would if you'd played dead

72

u/spacebarcafelatte 4d ago

Why did I read this

13

u/ChippedHamSammich 4d ago

99.999999% sure we will never be in this situation but… global warming and all…

18

u/pinklavalamp 4d ago

I’m an Xennial - we grew up afraid of the Bermuda Triangle and quicksand.

3

u/Glitch29 4d ago

Born in '86, I think I just caught the tail end of quicksand in popular culture. There were some tales of it in elementary school, and the Parker Brothers' Quicksand game (1989) was still on the shelves through the early nineties.

But the last and only movie I remembered featuring quicksand was The Princess Bride (1987).

3

u/GodlessScallywag 4d ago

Ah yes, the lightening sand. I'd rather take my chances with the R.O.U.S.'s.

3

u/Maremdeo 2d ago

Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.

1

u/Unclecactus666 4d ago

'89 here. I was still very much afraid of quicksand back in the day.

1

u/Upset-Requirement779 3d ago

The one I remember most is the never ending story

0

u/SalvatoreVitro 4d ago

You’re a millennial. The name was coined for those who graduated around 2000. The other end of the generation should have the hybrid name.

3

u/ZELLKRATOR 4d ago edited 4d ago

"Ey yo polar bear... How you you like them SUVs? Who's dying now, cunt? You should have gone for a license yourself, idiot."

That's tha way to do it...!

"Ey hooman... How you like them floodings? Who's dying now, cunt? Better swim like the polar bears, idiot."

1

u/YouMUSTvote 3d ago

lol lol, I know! This is the rocket fuel of nightmares…

3

u/gremlinfrommars 4d ago

Well. That's fun

1

u/ResolveLeather 4d ago

It's recommend because if you are in a place that you encounter them, shelter or vehicle is near by. Snowmobile/boar is faster then a polar bear and artic explorers are big enough to not care.

3

u/Unclecactus666 4d ago

So if I encounter a polar bear I should find a boar to ride to safety on?

1

u/kellzone 4d ago

And if you do have to run, zig-zag. Don't run in a straight line like that idiot Rickon Stark.

1

u/HuckleberryOdd7745 3d ago

but what the likely hood of playing dead actually working and them ignoring you?

or was the laying down advice not actually advice?

instead of perfecting my brief knowledge on the heimlich maneuver and cpr im learning about fighting polar bears.... just in case i guess.

honestly i cant remember how to tell if a drop is about to attack. i think last time i looked it up it was if theyre showing their teeth and growling. and something about the tail either being up or down being good or bad.

3

u/3BlindMice1 3d ago

Polar Bears need all the calories they can get. They'd still eat your corpse if it had been rotting for a week. They wouldn't mind in the slightest that you were playing dead. Don't bother learning how to fight a polar bear, instead, look up how big they are. It's a mass of muscle, teeth, and claws the size of a tank that's perpetually starving.

1

u/idontlikegudeg 3d ago

You know the story of the two guys running into a bear and one of them instantly fixes his shoe laces. The other one says "why are you doing that? You won’t outrun him anyway?" "I know. But I hope i can outrun you."

39

u/Ryguy_Games 4d ago

obviously dont test this hypothesis but i heard that a good strategy from running from a polar bear is throwing objects to the side as apparently they have short attention spans

80

u/lordkoba 4d ago

I’d be dropping turds. would that work?

17

u/UmatterWHENiMATTER 4d ago

Worth a shit...errr... shot.

2

u/Informationlporpoise 4d ago

only if you toss them to the side

11

u/Marble_Turret 4d ago

Unless you're throwing seals

3

u/Ornery-Customer8521 4d ago

Just cant be the slowest

1

u/Professional-Day7850 4d ago

It works great. That's why I never travel alone into polar bear regions.

77

u/NoAssumption3912 4d ago

Or have a delicious Coke to offer

22

u/Top-Strawberry4466 4d ago

I think they like Pepsi now

2

u/Samaraxmorgan26 4d ago

They've always loved icees

2

u/PlayfulSurprise5237 4d ago

Pepsi, in this economy? Broke ass bears be drinking Sams Cola

1

u/Almostasleeprightnow 4d ago

the best thing i've seen today

22

u/Maiyku 4d ago

They can still run like 25mph though, so you gotta get on that snowmobile and get the fuck going.

Granted that only takes a few seconds on most snowmobiles, but it only takes a few seconds for a bear to chomp down on you so… you’re still testing the limits in a lot of ways.

2

u/Antoak 4d ago

Remember, you don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the person beside you.

1

u/Barf_The_Mawg 4d ago

Only if you have a friend slower than you.

1

u/topTopqualitea 4d ago

No. You have to die

1

u/zamiboy 4d ago

Or you are surrounded by an electric fence for your campsite.

1

u/whistlerite 4d ago

Hopefully you have a gun, or you fucked up.

1

u/Antilles1138 3d ago

Or hope you have an elephant gun loaded and ready.

1

u/kurburux 3d ago

Fun fact: migratory polar bears have made it to Iceland. They're usually killed by hunters though because they're very dangerous and it's not really possible to return them.