Mourning/Loss
After 19 years, I let my boy go today.
Would’ve been 19 in 2 weeks. Everyone tells me he lived a long happy life but it doesn’t feel long enough. The bond we had was truly special and he was one of a kind. I got him when I was 7 and now 26, I don’t know life without him. I feel incredibly happy and lucky my 2 human babies were also here to know and love the kitty I grew up with.
My sympathies on your loss. I felt the same way with mine. I’d do it all over again despite it all. Miss him daily but it’s because they’re like dear family. They’ve got our backs.
They remind us that it’s not just humans that care, have emotions and love. It’s tough that they have shorter life spans. I just try to remind myself that they’d want us to be happy on their behalf, to enjoy life. Sorry for your loss. It’s ok to never quite get over it.
The late Anthony Bourdain has a good quote, “At this point I think my body is like an old car. Another dent ain't gonna make a whole lot of difference. At best, it's a reminder that you're still alive and lucky as hell. Another tattoo, another thing you did, another place you've been."
— Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown (Borneo)
EDIT: Honestly though, this Anthony Bourdain quote is better and what I should have originally pasted. “Travel changes you... Most of the time, those marks — on your body or on your heart — are beautiful. Often, though, they hurt.”
— The Nasty Bits: Collected Varietal Cuts, Usable Trim, Scraps, and Bones
This really touches me. I am so glad you got to grow up together. I had a black cat like that as a child, but mine had shorter fur. I still think of him.
I hope that the fun memories help you heal. I am glad he had a chance to meet the new generation. Sending much love to you and your beautiful cat.
Thank you 🖤 I know I’ll think of him every day. Everything reminds me of him and I don’t think that will ever change. It will just get easier to handle the emotional challenge behind it.
Awww. Looks just like my guy but grey. So sorry you’re going through this. It’s incredibly difficult and nothing can prepare you for the pain but focusing on the love and good memories is very comforting.
Your sweet boy saw you through childhood, teen years, birth of your kids. Wow what a blessing to share those moments with such a sweet boy. I lost my Leo at Thanksgiving. I didn't have him as long, but in the few short years he was part of my life he created a special place in my heart. I know the loneliness you feel. For some reason I've been missing my sweet Leo a lot today. But then I smile thinking of happy memories I have of him. In time I hope and pray the cat distribution system select you again and bring a new little angel into your life. Leo is a special kitty too, and a wonderful protector of other cats. He will look after your boy.
Thank you for the words 🖤 Cats are such a special companion to have and any amount of time in our lives is so special. Thinking of the happy memories is a great way to keep them alive and help the grief.
I love Carl for a cat! I used to have a job where the two heads of my department were these boomer dudes named Gary and Carl and I always thought those would make good names for a pair of dopey boy cats lol. I generally prefer people names for pets though.
I try to send this blurb I wrote along to every animal over who has suffered such a devastating loss. Hopefully you will find it as helpful as many of them has.
Never feel guilty about making the decision to let your baby cross OTRB. They have spent their whole lives beside you guarding you protecting and being ever present. In their final minutes while you held them missed them and showed them the same unconditional love your always gave you gave them permission to finally rest knowing that you would be ok and safe without them. They know are in place where they are free to run play and enjoy themselves without anything that may have burdened them here. They will continue to watch over you from there. You will find them in the random sunbeam through a window. They will remain present when you fondly remember the small things- them chasing a dust bunny or a time they knocked something over. They will wait until you need them again and then they send you reinforcements. Suddenly you will see an animal somewhere and be so instantly reminded of them that you must have this new creature. And both you and they will know that you are protected again. You will never forget them as they will never forget you.
Be well internet friend. I sincerely hope this brings some peace.
So heartbreaking. That may have been the issue with mine. I didn’t want him going through any tests since it was evident his time was done anyways with all of his issues weighing him down. It broke my heart to know he was in pain.
Sometimes the hardest decision is the best one.
I can’t imagine what my life will be without my cat Hobbes. But I always tell him that I’m so grateful for all the memories we shared and continue to share. Please stay warm in your memories. ♥️♥️
Yeah same. My boi had never had anything wrong for 19yrs, then it just started with some bad teeth then next thing I know I'm taking a little box home with his collar. Ripped me apart
Ugh exactly. He’s obviously been declining the last 6 months but still acting like himself completely and like the same cat I’ve always had and doing well. He was just clearly an old cat. Then the last few days this week he just stopped eating and developed weird breathing and wheezing and only drinking water and a lot of it.
Vet said it was time. I knew it was but part of me hoped maybe it was fixable.
Such a joy. He’s the last living link to our youngest son who passed in 2013. His name is Lightning, Ka Chow. My daughter is devastated. Planned on taking him to college
So sorry for your loss. That first picture is especially lovely.
I also grew up with a black cat (Audrey 🖤), we got her when I was 4 and she died when I was 18. She really was there for my whole childhood.
Your Nibbles looks like her and has me thinking about her.
I hope it helps you if I say, in my experience, it does get easier/less painful with time. Of course not right away, but my wish for you is that one day you will think of him or talk about him or look at pictures of him and feel (almost) no sadness, only all the warmth and gratitude and love you two gave each other over your near 19 years together.
That’s how it’s (eventually) become for me about Audrey in the 10 years she’s been gone. Every few years, I even find myself dreaming of her, almost like she’s visiting me. Just like the love you have for Nibbles is forever, I don’t think the love he has for you isn’t going anywhere, either.
Wishing you peace. Thank you for sharing sweet Nibbles with us. 🖤
I’ve said goodbye to 9 cats. Two lived for 18 years. The biggest problem with having pets is that they go too soon. I miss all of them, but so many cats need the home and all the love we can give them and we get so much love from them. I have two right now I am loving through their lives, and they may be my last because they are 2 and 3 and I am 71. They will be taken care of if I go before them. But I am grateful for all of the cats I have over my life and appreciate the love and care they have given me. It is so hard to let them go, but there are other cats waiting to receive and give love. ❤️
What a blessing to have grown up with that beauty! My condolences. I can’t imagine how you feel. He will always be with you and you will see him again. Love never dies
What a beautiful boy, glad you gave him a beautiful home and your children got to make friends with him the same way you did. The loss is so brutal just comfort yourself with how much of a lovely life he lived with you. I had my beautiful boy Bob who I lost 4 years ago, I still cry about his loss. But when I got him he had been horribly treated and he was an elderly gent who would have spent the end of his life in a shelter as no one takes older cats, he was 12 when I got him and he was so loving and amazing. I had him cremated when I had to have to have him put down because he had a massive tumour in his throat, and for weeks I cuddled his ashes, it still makes me sad now. Just always try and think of the lovely times you gave him, and he gave you, it’s not easy but he would want you to move on and be happy if cats could articulate these things!
Feels like the timeline I had with my 19 year old. There for all the young pivotal moments. Gone in the next chapter. Loved my 19 year old kitty and miss him dearly. My condolences.
He sounds absolutely wonderful. I'm sure, no I KNOW you meant as much to him as he did to you. I'm gonna give my kitty an extra squeeze tonight in honor of him and I hope you take that love you had for your kitty and spread it to others in your life, it's what he would've wanted.
Some people say that before we are born, we exist in a kind of heaven, and we descend down to Earth (or some other planet I guess) when we are born. When we die, we return to that existence.
I hope that is true, and you get to be with your little man again. The picture of him as a kitten is so adorable it makes one's heart skip a beat.
I very recently lost my old man at 17, had him since I was 8. Hardest thing I ever went through in my life. I'm sure you know since you have a lot of pictures with yours the value in holding onto those pictures. But I really recommend you collect every picture you can of him and store it somewhere safe and find the things that remind you of him the most. The first few weeks are the hardest because it's so easy to remember what you lost, but as the months and years pass it'll become harder to remember and that's its own type of pain. So make sure you find yourself the things that make you miss him the most so you can always do him the justice of being remembered and cried over because he deserves that.
He watched you grow up just like you watched him grow up 🥹 Your furry companion didn’t live as long as you did, but to him he lived longer than most and lived a happy and fulfilling life.
Makes me cry every time I have to do it, being 58 years old and owning Cats and dogs of my own since I was 19, I have had to put down 4 cats, and 7 dogs, the last time the girls at that vet surrounded me walked me to my car because the lobby was full of people and I was embarrassed because I was crying like a baby, so they shielded me,
It may not feel rational, but you gave him a truly wonderful life, and he clearly knew how loved he was. Sharing those years with your kids makes it even more special. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I hope you can find some peace in knowing how deeply he was loved and taken care of. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
My cat Tazita (means teacup in Spanish), was 19. She passed away at home in my lap in March. I was 13 when we got her as a kitten. The bond we shared was strong. It hurts to say goodbye, and there will be many moments of mourning. We are lucky to have had them in our lives for so long. Pawprints forever embedded in our hearts.
Crying too hard. My sincere condolences. I’m glad you had him as long as you did. I had a cat for 20 years and it still tore me up when she passed.
It’s not just the loss of your pal. It’s also like closing the door on a chapter of your life. You were a little girl when you got him. You’re now a young mother.
I saw your tears when it was time for me to leave. Please don’t cry. I want to explain something to you.
You are sad that I’m gone, but I am happy that I got to meet you. Do you know how many dogs, cats, and birds die every day without ever meeting someone as special as you?
I know my departure makes you sad, but I have to go now. I want to ask you not to blame yourself. I heard your sobbing, saying you wished you could have done more for me. Please don’t say that. You have done so much for me! Without you, I would never have known the beauty I carried within me until today.
You must know that we animals live fully in the present moment, and we are smart in our own way. We enjoy every little thing each day and quickly forget the bad things that happened before. Our lives truly begin when we know love—the same love you gave me… My angel who has no wings and walks on two legs.
Even if you meet an animal who is badly injured and has only a little time left in this world, please know that your presence in their final moments is precious. None of us want to be alone—except when we know it’s our time to go.
Maybe, for you, having someone by your side, stroking you, holding your hand, may not seem like much. But it helps us leave this world peacefully.
Please don’t cry anymore. I will be happy. I remember the name you gave me. I remember the warmth of your home that became my home during my time here. I remember your voice speaking to me, even if I didn’t always understand the words.
I keep every bit of love you gave me in my heart. Everything you did for me meant so much, and I thank you deeply. I didn’t know how to tell you because I couldn’t speak your language, but you must have seen my gratitude in my eyes.
I only ask two things of you: Wash your face, and start your smile anew. Remember the good times we had. Remember the silly things I did that made you laugh. Hold onto those happy memories—just like I do.
And please don’t say you’ll never adopt another animal because losing me hurts too much. If not for you, I would never have known the beauty I once had. Please don’t do that. There are many animals still waiting for someone like you.
Give them what you once gave me. They need it, just like I did. Don’t lock your love away because you’re afraid of pain.
Follow my advice: cherish the good moments you share with each of them, and know that you are an angel to us all. Without people as kind as you, our lives would be much harder.
Continue your noble mission. Now it’s my turn to be your angel. I will walk beside you on every path and help you care for my friends. I will tell the other animals here about you — I will tell them everything you did for me, and I will point at you and proudly say, “That’s my family.”
Tonight, when you look up at the sky and see a star twinkling, I want you to know that it’s me winking at you, telling you that I’ve arrived safely and thanking you for the love you gave me.
Now I must say goodbye — not “farewell,” but “see you again.”
There is a heaven made for kind souls like you, a place where we will meet again, and life will reward us with that reunion. I will be waiting for you there.
I let my 19 year boy go a bit ago and it feels like a part of you going. I still see him sometimes And I still call his name sometimes. He was the best boy and will stay with you forever. 💜
I’m sorry for your loss, but you gave each other so much. I know it’s small comfort, but you made his life so full and loving. He’ll remember that when you’re reunited.
Aww, I am so sorry for your loss. He looked like a gentle soul. Those kitten pics really got to me, but it was the proud big brother to your baby pic that made me tear up. Pets just being there for you as you grow your family is truly special. Have a happy time, Nibbles.
I can clearly see through these photos that you and nibbles shared a special bond. You made eachothers lives better and you are both so lucky to have had eachother ♥️ The love between a person and their cat is so so pure, deep, and special. I’m sorry you had to let your sweet baby go 😞
It is heartbreaking for me to see you had to let your best friend go. I am really sorry for your loss. But what could give you relief is the thought of that you can share your memories with your two babies, and keep remembering Nibbles as for who he was… he will stay alive in your heart and your thoughts as long as you live and eventually he will wait for you over the rainbow bridge for you to be united with him forever and he will return the favour to you for granting him to have been able living a life full of love and affection.
gorgeous void boy. thank you for sharing those great pictures of him and you throughout his life. he lived a great life because he was in your care. till you meet again ❤️
Ver las fotos y ver que te acompañó desde que eras una niña, estuvo en tu proceso de ser madre, y seguramente en muchos momentos más (ya sean momentos tristes o felices) me destruye 😭😭😭
19 años es un montón. 19 años de felicidad para ambos!
Espero puedas llevar este difícil momento de la mejor manera, se que duele y dolerá para siempre.
Ya que ellos siempre serán parte de nosotros.
Pero lo importante es pensar en los mejores momentos que pasaste con él.
Honestly I don’t think any amount of time would be enough with our little furry children. I’m sorry for your loss, Nibbles was a beautiful cat and I love to hear about the special bond you shared. I’m glad he had such a special companion/mom 😭🥹💔❤️
19 is so long. I just wish we got to celebrate it. I didn’t expect him to make it to 20 so I had big plans for 19. He went downhill so fast it came out of nowhere 😔
I’m so sorry. He’s so beautiful, it’s clear how much y’all loved each other. That love isn’t gone, just transcends the bounds of a physical body now. So much love to you both. ❤️
A most handsome small bear was Nibbles.
Thank you for all the love you filled his life with.
Thank you for reminding me to love my girls every moment I can.
It’s been a wonderful 19 year journey with your cat. It’s sad that he was let go, but the wonderful memories you shared with him shall last forever. Sending you hugs. And fly high little one.
What a beautiful life and beautiful bond you two shared (and still share). Grief is, in part, the love that is left behind when the one we love is not longer physically with us. I'm sorry for the death of your beloved friend.
You’ve known him practically your whole life oh no….
🥺🥺🥺 i’m so sorry for your loss.
You have my deepest condolences, i couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must feel like to grow up with them in your most formative years and have to say good bye….
As a grown person who had my hand on my cat as he took his last breath, that was devastating. This must’ve been times 1000…..
I didn’t know him my (or his whole) life, but he used to sleep on top of me. And he was my constant “butt in my face” buddy.
This is his “Spiritual Sister” my baby girl Salem. I say this…. As both Leo and Salem have a broken meow.
I just lost my baby, one of my best friends told me something that just helped me so much, our pets,they are the ultimate sacrifice we have to pay for the gift that is getting to have them in our lives to begin with. That’s how I have been viewing it now.
The love we get from our babies is priceless.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Please take care.
I'm so sorry you had to say goodbye to your furbaby. I hope you cherish every moment you shared.
Please know you were his everything and filled his life with beautiful life with more love than you felt from him. You let him live his wild and free life. PLEASE frame the cover picture of him, this one, it catches him so beautiful, and he's looking at you.
this happened to me last week! i lost my 19 year old girl, got her when i was 9 and now im 28. it sucks! at times she was genuinely my only friend in the entire world (or at the very least it felt like that). but i know she lived a very long and beautiful life, and she didn’t have to suffer at the end. it absolutely fucking sucked bringing her into the vet and putting her down, but i did it because i loved her and didn’t want her to be in any more pain that she already was.
your boy lived a life full of love. he is always with you 🤍
Oh my heart! I feel for you. The photos of you growing up with him are priceless. I had to let my solid black soulmate cat go shortly before his 19th birthday as well. He grew up with me as far as adulthood goes. I got him at 23 years old when I was first living on my own.
He saw me through an abusive relationship (which caused him to protect me from men there on out), he saw me through my father’s death, he saw me grow from a selfish and clueless 20 something year-old to a 40 something year-old that finally got her head and shit together. He was my everything. I miss him every single day and he’s been gone seven years.
I had a sweet boy that I got when I was six and had until I was 23. It has been five years since he crossed the rainbow bridge and I still miss him. Sounds kinda crazy but every once in a while he appears randomly in my dreams and I like to think it’s his spirit checking in to say hi.
Sorry to hear that nibbles had to go to the big kitty playground in the clouds. He will be looking down on you from time to time.
Loved the timeline in the pictures. You 2 were so close. Sorry again for having him to let go.
He tought you how to take care of a cat! That will never leave you and if it's in the cards for you to get another you'll always know exactly what to do.
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