It’s sexism when it’s sexism and observation when it’s observation. I wish you luck maturing enough to break out of the “everything in the world is exactly the same” mentality.
The part where it converts from "observation" to sexism is when you try to say anecdotal evidence is universal when that is not accepted in any other context.
Literally where on earth would she be making a universal claim. If I work at a grocery store, and I make a comment about being pleasantly surprised to see someone actually return their grocery cart, am I making an offensive universal claim that no customers ever return their carts to the cart return?
You would be pleasantly surprised if people often don’t return their carts, just like an OB worker would be pleasantly surprised if they frequently noticed men not supporting their partners. A person is allowed to notice and comment on it when, due to work, they often see people not doing something that they believe everyone should do.
The essentially “universal claim” is that no one returns the cart. Otherwise the comment would not be worth making when one person does return the cart.
Let me get this straight. You’re at work. And a coworker says, “Oh I’m so relieved, they actually returned the carts for once so I don’t have to go get them 😅.” Your response to that would be “Woah, woah, let’s not make any hasty universal claims here. It’s not true that customers never return the carts.” ?
I just think that the anecdote is a bit weak for making large claims. What if your coworker said “oh, most people return the carts. You just notice those who don’t”?
I just don’t think this amounts to a large claim. The point of my comparison to the shopping cart is that we’re talking about the same level of off-the-cuff comment about work; it’s just not that deep. It is a completely light-hearted way of drawing attention to a pattern of sexism she has seen at work. And men in this comments section are far more upset about the idea that a woman might describe sexism in an ever-so-slightly generalizing way than by the idea of women actually being neglected by their partners and L&D workers noticing it.
Gender and sex are protected classes in a legal context. When people use that phrase in a colloquial manner, we’re typically talking about groups that have historically been discriminated against, which men haven’t. It is not sexist for women to jokingly discuss observed sexism, just like it isn’t racist toward white people for people of color to jokingly discuss observed racism or offensive to straight people for gay people to jokingly discuss observed homophobia. I refuse to “take the L” about sliding into a norm where women have to apply a dozen “not all men” equivocations and caveats in order to discuss our lived experiences or else be called bigots because men’s feelings are hurt.
I'll try out for the Olympics if you'll try out for Baby of the Year for getting your feelings hurt by women casually describing experiences that have nothing to do with you 👍
To put it plainly. You are sexist and should reflect on that. I have 3 children and have been to 2 different hospitals L&D. Maybe it is wildly different where you are, but in both places 1000 miles apart, nearly every single woman was accompanied by a man.
There are many factors on why a man may not be present.
He could be on assignment in the military.
He could be taking care of a sick elderly person.
He could be at work when her water broke.
He could be at home taking care of the other children they have.
They could have broken up prior to having the baby.
I could go on and on and on about scenarios that prevent the father from being there. The fact that you jump to neglect and/or abuse just shows that you are sexist. It's ok to admit that.
Let me be so clear: I have no dog in the fight of how supportive men typically are in the hospital. But I will defend the right of a woman who actually works in that context to express the observation that, according to her experience, men behave in an unsupportive manner (not just are absent) without her being called a bigot for doing so. That’s what I actually care about, the idea that women describing their experiences as women not automatically be shut down because men’s feelings are hurt by women’s suggestion that sexism still exists.
Talk to me like I’m an idiot all you want, I think you’re demonstrating a fairly low level of reading comprehension if that’s what you took away from my comment.
It is the meaning behind what you say. I didn't call you an idiot. I think you are just blinded by your hatred of men to the point where you jump on a talking point based on your opinion. Sexism exists both ways. Men and women can be sexist.
I don't hate men. But I do believe that sexism against women is still pervasive and I don't automatically doubt it when someone tells me they've experienced it. To a lot of men, this is the same as hating them.
For the record, I don't believe you hate women, but I do think you seem overly sensitive and prone to be dismissive of women's viewpoints.
Me disagreeing with you is overly sensitive? You should take everything with a grain of salt. Humans are notoriously bad about trying to paint everything in away that makes themselves look better than what happened. Also, as you surely know by now, this isn't what op's video was about, so the health care lady didn't come to the observation even. You are just prone to agree with viewpoints that align to your own.
I think being offended by the theoretical content of the video is a bit overly sensitive. And yes lol, I've known since the beginning that this is a wholly theoretical argument, I just like arguing on reddit. And to be honest was driven crazy by the amount of people defending the comment I initially responded to, which I thought would be clearly seen as a totally jump-the-shark comparison between a woman maybe making a joke on TikTok and the dynamics of racist mass incarceration.
So, it’s ok for you to draw a generalized conclusion about how these situations play out from your observations the 3 whole times you’ve been on a labor and delivery ward, but not ok for someone who works in labor and delivery on a daily basis, presumably for years, to draw a generalized conclusion from their considerably greater observations? (Or for women in this thread who have also actually given birth to say that this is in line with their own experience).
Also, I’m sorry, but for you to say that when you were in the hospital for the birth of your own child, nearly every woman was accompanied by a man…how did you draw that conclusion? Were you visiting all the other delivery rooms? Just popping by to check on everybody’s progress? And even whatever you did see doesn’t tell you the whole story. Plenty of men are in the room, but are completely unsupportive and detached from what is happening. I have multiple nurses in my family, in addition to the dozens of OB/L&D professionals I’ve encountered through my own pregnancies, and it is not uncommon for men to be unhelpful assholes in the room. I’ve been told multiple stories of fathers bringing their whole PlayStation setup and playing video games through the birth of their child.
The funny part is this video op posted was the man getting slapped, not shock at a man being supportive. The conclusion was drawn by ppl like you. I could only provide anecdotal evidence to the contrary and so can you. My point is that the logic is flawed. And yes, I can tell through observations. You can walk by a room or when the couple is walking by.
Of course there are men out there that aren't all in on it and helpful. It's not a black and white issue. There are a lot of nuances to everything in life, so instead of jumping to man hated and widening the gender divide, take a breath.
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u/cricket-critter Apr 24 '26
Nah. Its "patterns" when convenient, and sexism when it is not. Thats jus hipocritical.